2011 was not my favorite year.
The glass-is-half-full part of my brain keeps trying to remind me that the first 10 months of it weren't so terrible, but the glass-is-half-empty contigent insists on pointing out that there was enough concentrated bummer oozing out of the last two to bring approximately 1000 glasses to half-full status--and is it really such a great thing that your glass is half-full if what it's full OF is the bitter remnants of your miserable, ruined life?
Ok, maybe that was a bit dramatic.
Let's just say that I was really ready for the year to be over.
Oh yes. It was going to be a very wild night.
So when my friend Mizzle* invited (read: demanded via text in ALL CAPS) me to drive down and ring in the new year with a low key evening of food and board games with her family, I knew that it was a much less pathetic way to ring out the shitstorm that was 2011 than what I had planned.
And I really didn't want to go.
Maybe I was just in a mood. Maybe the idea of the hour long drive seemed like a little much. Maybe leaving my poor dog to brave the inevitable fireworks on her own seemed like a bad idea. Or maybe this lingering depression was getting the best of me that night and the idea of spending the last holiday of the season solo without anyone to kiss at midnight made me want to pull the covers over my head and hibernate until spring. And so I decided to politely decline, knowing that Mizzle is such a good friend that she'd totally understand and not push the issue and bully me via text over and over and call me until I agreed to come.
So I went.
And it was OK. I had some kick ass corn casserole and more than my fair share of bacony cream cheese dip on ritz crackers. I won a game of Apples to Apples, and had a good time during the games I lost too. I downed a delicious cup of coffee spiked with coffee flavor liqueur (Coffee within coffee. Very inception.) I talked a little about the life in the aftermath of the Ass-hat, and a lot more about other things...and before I knew it, the year had ended and a new one had begun.
I'm not sure what I thought was going to happen when the clock struck midnight, what would be different in the world betwen 11:59 PM December 31, 2011 and 12:00 AM January 1, 2012. It's not like I thought an angel would appear in a flash of white light and present me with Tim's head on a platter and declare that a new era of personal fabulousness was about to begin for me, starting with my magical transformation to an instant size 12 and the surprising information that my new mattress was actually stuffed with $100 bills. Well, I hoped that would happen, but I knew it wouldn't. Probably.
What DID happen is that I rang in the new year after spending a pleasant night surrounded by people I cared about. I had survived 2011 and started 2012 alone, but not lonely. Something I hadn't even wanted to do at first turned out to be the best thing for me, and I was glad I did it.
Kind of like stepping on the scale today. After two long weeks of holiday meals where I'd been satisfied with my choices but realistic about what effect they'd likely have on my weight loss progress, I hopped on the hateful bucket of bolts tonight....and gained 2.2 pounds.
And it was OK.
In 2012 I'll kick those 2.2 to the curb, along with a whole bunch of their friends.
New year. New start. New me.
*Not her real name. And yet, actually her real name. Puzzle that one out!
Been a long time...
1 week ago